BUMBLING and Tumbling

Well, anyone between 16–40 knows bumble in India for sure. For those you don't, this is a semi-identical sister of Tinder which has a little more sophisticated features and a girl approaches you first. Ever since Tinder became infamous for its casual dating vibes, a lot of new players like bumble and hinge dived in, trying to add more meaning to the dating world.

I am recently separated and was introduced to these platforms. My first experience on bumble lasted for a few days, I met a few people, liked and swiped, spoke and shortlisted, and boiled down to 2 candidates. Out of which one became a friend eventually and another became my date. We dated for a while and then moved our separate ways.

So I went back to bumble, and I am a shy person these days. But I gathered a little more confidence this time. Like I would not only chat and flirt but would also use the call feature. I am not trying to promote any app here, just telling my girlfriends out there that if you don't wanna give out your phone number, use the phone call or the video call, all apps give you that feature for a reason. I also told people that I was separated and had dated in the past and looking for long-term goals very candidly. To my surprise, I found people have also become bolder. They are very open about looking for a casual date, or for anything that could happen status, they also freely said that they never wanted to marry/remarry or have kids. I like that. Honesty. Its leads to lesser heartbreaks.

But still, I have heartbreaks. I meet these sweet talkers online who are fun to meet and nice to talk to but are loaded with work. Especially in the bracket of 32–40. These men are machines right now. The absence of women has made them even more robotic. They only respond when they like what you have written and filter the rest. They would date you, like you, and even care but in a subtle manner. They are trying to protect themselves as you are from the hurt. Because it's not as before when a girl would leave everything for a man and follow.

I spoke to one of them about it, we realized that to avoid the pain of getting hurt, we have all started working so much that we don’t have time to date. Especially in our 30’s, our priority is stability and money. And hence, we can fall in love but our realities exceed our emotions. And women are emotional creatures. They can’t stay in a relationship with few or no emotions.

Let's ponder, are there any other types of women available? Maybe few. But Go closer, take a look. She will be emotional. Ask Charlie Sheen if you want to. If he could not find one, you cannot. If he did, the Cassanova would be settled by now.

So I decided to try Hinge now. I thought probably something is wrong with guys on bumble. LMAO. I am so stupid in my head. Half of the guys were the same lot from bumble. And another half just had photos. Hive gives you even lesser information. So I am now swiping people with even fewer ideas, just by analyzing their photos.

This makes me wonder about other people’s dating experiences online. What are their preferences? Why are they still single? Why do people keep coming back? Are they not satisfied with what they have got?

We are so sure about what we want, so selective, and so blessed with choices that we have stopped stepping out of our comfort zone. If you don't match my exact requirement, then lemme make a few more swipes. And like this, we keep tumbling, from one person to another in search of our perfect soulmates who did not exist, or might be taken by now.

The idea for the romantics was to find someone, to like that person, love their flaws, and make a living out of this companionship. For the realists, the idea was to have casual romance till time runs out. But is there any romance found on these sites, or are they similar to matrimony sites except that your parents don't get involved and you are making your own mistakes? Or Is it an option machine to boost your confidence when your self-esteem is low and other drives are higher? Or Are these like online games we play and get addicted to; which are super fun initially but self-destructive later? Or are they your saviors in this busy world, who’s now hidden behind computer screens, where the geeks could find the geeks?

I am wondering, any thoughts?